COVID Ramblings

 I have not written for my blog, here, for over a year. I have written for another blog, pixesl2Pages.net, and that has taken my “creative musings” elsewhere. For those of you who follow this blog, I thank you. For those of you who don’t and want to, sign up in the email spot on the main page, and when, and if, I write something, it will come to your email.

 

So, this year has really sucked! I must say that I started out with a positive attitude and hoped that this would all be over soon. That didn’t happen, did it!? (I think there should be a punctuation mark for an exclamatory question!) As the year progressed, every plan I had dissolved into thin air. After Dave’s passing in 2018, I didn’t have much drive to do anything, but 2020 was going to be the year I did some traveling; a gathering in  Houston in April, a sail up the Danube in June, a conference in Orlando in July, the balloon festival in Albuquerque in October, a retreat in San Diego, also in October. Everything was cancelled. One was postponed until 2021, but then that was also cancelled. Not only did I feel regret, I also was upset and, then, depressed. There have been the infrequent visits to the grocery store, a couple of visits to the doctor for general things, and Friday nights. I LIVE for Friday nights. That is when I get to visit my daughter and her family for dinner. Sometimes we go somewhere, and other times we eat at her house. The best part, other than being with people I love so much, is just getting out and away from the confined limits of my own home. I have realized how important it is for me to have contact with others. I have always felt myself to be one who doesn’t mix well with more than 2 or 3 people at a time, but to not have anyone around is very difficult. I am sure that I am not the only one who feels this way.

 

Another thing I have noticed, other than the mild depression and loneliness I deal with daily, is that I am becoming more and more withdrawn. I don’t really have much of a desire to do anything, which includes getting dressed, watering the garden, taking out the trash, getting something to eat, etc. It is really all the little stuff. This Stay At Home has been going on starting 8 months. My county, Los Angeles, is still pretty much locked down. I am fortunate that I live on the border between Los Angeles and Orange County, which is a little more open and can eat outside with my family. I am also very worried about the two big holidays that are coming up: Thanksgiving and Christmas. Heather always does a wonderful family Thanksgiving and I do one for Christmas. There are family members with weakened immune systems…will they be able to celebrate with us? See what is going on in my brain? I am now consumed with the fact that more plans will be sacrificed.

 

I am desperately trying, every day, to stay positive. I am a rule follower and I wear a mask, stand over 6 feet away, and all the other stuff. I really just want all of this to be over, and I am sure that I am not the only one with this wish.

 

Even with all of this personal reflection, there are always those who see something funny, or funny-insightful in any given situation. Those who put out the memes are genius at “hitting the nail on the head”. I have saved a lot of them because they are a record of this time in our lives. Some of my favorites are included in this post.

One Year...

This is the day…the one year anniversary. So far, so good. It’s definitely less easy to dwell on the past when you have an active 3 year old asking for cereal and orange juice, or when an active 5 month old kitten decides to jump on your lap with her claws extended. I know that at some point today, my mind will wander, but I plan on being in a safe place with family and friends. We will toast the OG and wish he were still here, and we will miss him. We will all still move forward knowing that we had the best of times together and that relief from pain is a joy.

This was the celebration of his 81st birthday, with the family, and still "lookin' good".

Grief…it’s not what you expect

Dave has been gone for eight months. I have been chugging along, doing my regular stuff: I made 2 cakes for Easter; I finally got the car in for a long needed service; I pulled weeds and watered; along with other “regular” stuff. The big days are hard, and we expect them to be hard: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Anniversary, but what we don’t expect is the effect that the “little” things will have. Every Easter for 50 years, Dave has given me a chocolate Easter bunny from See’s. It would appear on my nightstand sometime before morning, just as if the Easter bunny had brought it. He would come in in the morning, full of joy, saying it was the “enter correct number here” year that he had delivered a bunny. He was so proud that he would remember this little thing. It didn’t matter that much to me, but it mattered so much to him. I realized this morning that there would be no Easter bunny on my bedside table tomorrow morning. I never thought to take a photo of the bunny and I never thought of writing a story about the tradition, and now it’s gone. It’s the little things that get you, people--the very little things. His birthday is in a couple of weeks…that’s a biggie…wonder how I’ll handle that one.

March 20, 2019 Walker Canyon Poppy Fields

In these days of “shoulda”, “coulda”, “woulda”, and “maybe”, and “what if”, I have been doing some re-evaluating of my “life”…we aren’t talking about the big LIFE, but about daily living. An example of my new thoughts: I have lived my entire life in California, as a matter of fact, I am a native Californian. Yet, in all of my years, I have never gone to see the poppies in bloom. It was always, “too far”, or “maybe later”, and after Dave’s passing, I realized that we had never shared so many things because we didn’t get our rear ends off the couch. I am trying to do better. Today, I went to see the poppies. It was a little over an hour away, a bit of an uphill hike, and by taking it slowly, I got it done. It was a lovely experience. The day was rainy and overcast, so the poppies were not in their full open glory, yet, even so, the beauty was unmistakable. I am going to try to do more “stuff”, because, as we all know, we have no idea what tomorrow will bring……..or not bring.

Life Changes

I have been very negligent about maintaining this blog…for that, I apologize. I fear that I have so few followers that it really doesn’t matter, however, my links to the products that I represent are all there. It is a bit shameful, that when I refer people to my blog, that my last post was in June of 2017! My life has changed considerably in the last couple of months. My dear hubs of 52 years passed away on August 31. There are good things and bad things in my day now…I don’t have to watch the 1000^th repeat of NCIS, and at the same time, there is no one to tell me how pretty I am or how good I look, when I look like I just was rescued from a tornado! I don’t have to get up at 4:00 AM to take him to dialysis, and yet there is no one to kiss me goodnight and tell me how much I am loved. I am really a pretty tough old broad, but I must admit, I miss the little niceties that go along with being married to my good OG (Old Guy, the name he liked me to call him). As time passes, the hole in my heart will settle in and become a part of everyday life. Now it is a little raw.

May, 2017

May is always a busy month for us. We have 4 birthdays in the first 2 weeks, Mother’s Day, a wedding anniversary, and this year, a graduation…my grandson, Kevin, graduated this year from Buena Park High School. Like all grandparents, it seems like just yesterday when he was a youngster. It is really eye-opening to me that the older I get, the faster time flies. I do have a theory on that…that when we were young, we didn’t have so many life experiences, so we looked forward to each new experience with such expectation that the time seemed to pass so slowly. As we age, we have more and more life experiences, so the expectations are less and the time seems to pass more rapidly. At this rate, in the next couple of years, Christmas will come the day after Valentine’s Day!

Here’s a photo of my special young man. I do insist on a last day of school photo by the school “sign”. (That’s what we photographers do to our kids, isn’t it!) I have slightly altered the photo using Artisan 5, removing the date the sign was placed with the date of Kevin’s graduation.

Family Happenings

I just noticed how long it has been since I have made a blog post. So much has happened in this time:  our family has a new addition; the hubs has had some serious medical issues; our grandson has rebuilt a car and gotten his permit. I have let everything slide, and now I really need to catch up. 

Let’s talk about the new baby this time. She was born on December 6, 2015, and just finished her fourth month. I have been trying to document each month, and am currently through her third. In addition to doing digital documentation, traditional scrapping is on the horizon as Creative Memories has 2 brand new baby collections, one for boys, and one for girls. They are precious and worthy of any mother’s, grandmother’s, and/or great grandmother’s attention for documenting. To see this collection, which can be purchased as a bundle or separately, just click on the CM Independent Advisor button on this page and under “Shop”, go to “Collections”, then “Hello, Baby”. You will be pleasantly surprised! 

Digitally, the new Artisan 5 is proving to be easy to utilize (I always worry about upgrades), and I made the digital pages for our new one in it. The good thing about this upgrade is that it is a separate program from Artisan 4 and both will be supported. I actually have books running in both programs and that does make it convenient. I am starting new work in A5 and a couple of continuing books are staying in A4. There are different computer requirements for each program, so be sure to check that out. I am going to post here, some pages taken from the book I am doing for our new Delilah. 

Remember, if you every have any questions or want to know more, just contact me and we can get together!